I've never felt more used, lied to, or betrayed. All I wanted was to share with you, be with you - spend time with you. But you'd always spend all your time working. I really think that you never truly cared - that was why, before we moved in together, we only saw each other once a week during the school year and why you considered it such a chore to pack a bag on weekends.

And then when we did move in together, nothing was ever good enough. My apartment was too small... I didn't take you out on enough dinners or nights on the town... the meals I cooked for us -almost every single night because you were busy with work or had to take a nap because you hadn't slept a single wink the night before were too boring and ordinary. And of course, I never made enough money. I tried my best Jess, but my drafting and rendering business sank with the rest of the construction industry - I can't help that were in the worst recession since the depression. I applied to so many jobs - anything and everything that might have remotely been related to my skills. I even took over all the properties' repair, maintenance, remodeling, landscaping, etc. to make ends meet - and we were doing fine (at least from my perspective) We never had to worry about rent, food, cars, etc. and even went out and did lots of things - going into the city from time to time, even going on little vacations. I even offered to pay your rent for you during the summer months if you needed it because you weren't getting paid then. I never ever wanted that to be our life forever but it would have to do for the mean time. But of course that wasn't good enough. I'm sorry that I wasn't Aramis, driving around in Corvettes and Hummers with a big house, going out on yachts or fancy dinners, exotic trips etc. and be able to let your stay home. I also wasn't the type of guy who'd pretend like your Dad was my best friend. Face it, your dad never really liked me once he found out that I wasn't going to be the gregarious, ass kisser that paid all kinds of attention to him like Aramis. That's juts not me and you know it - neither are you - would you have preferred that I acted instead of being myself.

Well, whatever. It doesn't matter. In the end I just feel like I was nothing more than a means to an end for you Jess - a necessary evil that you had to put up with and - ugh - spend time with so that you could have what you truly wanted - a house and kids. I wanted those things to - but I wanted to share them with you. I wanted nothing more than to share life with you and I was dying for you to truly open up your heart to me so that we might truly come together as one and share all the exciting journeys that life would bring our way. But you never did - you were always preoccupied with something else and ultimately I was nothing more to you than an after thought.